Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize