He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
