Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
