This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
