she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
