Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
