dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Mom said you looked used
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
