Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
