He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
