At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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