thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
