why didn't you poke me back
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
me + whiskey = a bad person
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
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