try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
