I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
