walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
