Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize