When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
