Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
