Christians are straight up FREAKS
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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