Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
