dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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