Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
that is very illegal...i love you.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
