Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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