Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
