she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
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