1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
