WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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