my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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