She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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