My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize