You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
