I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
