Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
