My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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