We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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