That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Found the puke drawer
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
