You really coming over, don't trick.
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
