So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize