wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
