Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
