A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
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