I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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