so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
smell my finger.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
