They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Randomize
