I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Randomize
