she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I have tasted many bathrooms
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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