ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
