My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
