She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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