yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
