She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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