Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
