dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
