this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I made him laugh his dick is mine
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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