i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
There's always time for handjobs
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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