"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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