Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
