Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
