Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
