It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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