it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
