the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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